Paradoxia

I´m no different. I´ll jump headlong into anyone´s car, pry a little into their nigth, their life, just to forget my own. Just to forge a new identity for a few hours. A short reprieve from my own chaos. My own monotony.
***
They were any number of ways to avoid having to actually hold down a job. I knew every single one of them. When I was truly desperate, I´d put a few days in a tittie bars, go-go clubs, strip joints. I enjoyed hustling for drinks, the false promise, leading men on, taunting, weaseling money off lonely degenerates, I hated the long hours, sleazy management, and trips to Jersey when the gigis ran out in Manhattan, Loved the power pussy had. The way men were drawn to its mysteries, as if prospecting for gold in foreign territory. Sweet evil flower, instrument of torture an ecstasy. Delicate blossom, root of deception, Buried deep in its fleshy folds, so very many ancient secrets, a magic which has confounded men since it was banished from the Garden, full of voodoo whose spell turns men into monsters.
***
I didn´t sleep with anybody...couldn´t stand the thought of waking uo groggy to get groped by some strange dick thay might have been hot the nigth before. But dayligtht casts a different pallor. A pallor I didn´t want to witness, didn´t want to smell the sleep leeching off. Didn´t want to deal with who or what I had done. Wanted to langour in the memory long enough to shower it off. Forget as soon as possible all but temporary satitation that anonymous sex with a complete stranger could uniquely provide. 

Paradoxia. A predator´s diary. Lydia Lunch

Touched by the toil and plunged into his arm
Cursed thru the night through eyes of alarm
A melody black flowed out of my breath
Searching for death, but bodies need rest

Body

Under the soil now waiting for worms
All that I feared is all that I've learned
All that I know is all that I think
Dead feelings are cool, down lower I sink

Bodies need rest
We all need our rest
Sleep an easy sleep
Rest, rest
Bodies need their rest
We all need our rest
Sleep an easy sleep
Rest, rest, rest, rest
But come back in the morning

Come back hard

Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up!

Bodies

Clutching and biting my soul has caught on fire
My evil is now and I'm caught up in desire
Everything I'm living for is all that I am
Liking it and loving it that's all in the plan